I remember being normal
Full of life and cheerful
Now it’s a memory far-flung
Since the day you came along
Your knock made my heart beat profoundly
Not the good kind, it was unsoundly
I thought my heart was going to explode
And I shook uncontrolled
My knees gave in and I felt heavy
It was a chilly night but I still felt sweaty
I couldn’t begin to fathom what just happened
I brushed it off as a one off occurrence
But who would have imagined?
It was the first of many to happen
No it’s not a loved one or a friend
It’s the demons inside my head
Mr. Depression and Ms. Anxiety
The demons invisible to society
Ergo my cry for help and screams of pain
Became harder to explain
You say everyone hates me
And I am to blame
Enough! Go away! Stop calling me names:
You say I put my family to shame
You have made me hate my own reflection
Rather than loving it, I loathe my imperfections
Can anyone hear the silent screams in my mind?
No, you have made sure I tell everyone I am fine.
You have ignited a fire that just burns bridges
I am cornered, I am alone, I can’t keep up with this
I often want to pull the trigger ending it all
I am drained and tired, a little push and it will be curtain call
Mr. Depression & Ms. Anxiety enough! Stop! I plead for my life
I can’t bare this anymore the burning is making me go blind.
The darkness is ever so consuming
It’s pitch black, very confusing.
Some days I am Jekyll, some days I am Hyde
I have lost myself
I can no longer tell which is you and which is me
I want the normal days I remember
Where I was happy and cheerful
It has become a distant memory
I just want to be me,
I beg you, I implore you, I am on my knees
Have some mercy, LEAVE ME ALONE!
I just want to be me.
3rd year 1st semester